The Cost Of Blood
by The-Lady-Isis
Summary: Jake and Nessie are in a relationship, very much in love - but Ness is having doubts. Then something terrible happens to Jacob that makes her realise how much she needs him, and just how far she'll go to save him. I own nothing, all reviews welcome.
1. Secrets And Lies

**A/N: This is my first attempt at a **_**Twilight **_**fic - and I'm after a beta, if there are any takers out there please? Grammar I'm fine with - it's content knowledge that might be a little sketchy. Renesmee is about nine years old in this fic, so 'of age'.**

**The Cost of Blood**

**Chapter One - Secrets And Lies**

_**Renesmee**_

"Oh my God..." I groaned.

Left sweaty and trembling but with a breathless grin on my face, I let all the strength drain out of me, and collapsed onto the forest floor. Still grinning, I rolled onto my back. "I _so _needed that."

Jacob's now-human form hit the ground next to mine. His grin was a white flash in the darkness of the night. "Apparently."

I licked my lips again, catching every last drop of the iron sweetness. We'd been hunting a stag tonight, my personal favourite. I'd tried all the favourites of my family - from Dad's mountain lion to Emmett's bears. And I'd found them all to just...taste wrong. I couldn't even identify what it was, and none of my family could suggest anything either. It wasn't so much a problem for me as it would have been for a full-blood vampire, of course, but food was...okay. It certainly wasn't something I found activepleasure in.

Naturally, though, it was Jacob who provided the answer. He suggested something that the Quileutes lived by - that as a predator, I shouldn't be hunting other predators. That it wasn't the taste that was wrong, but my human half rebelling against something it knew wasn't right. Predator hunted prey, and nothing else. He'd been correct - my first mouthful of stag blood was like manna from Heaven. From then on, whenever I'd hunted it had mostly been with Jake. But then almost everything I did was mostly with Jake. I grinned at the man next to me. _Which is exactly how we both like it._

He returned my smile, his face easily visible to my eyes. "What are you thinking about?"

I stretched out on the forest floor, my arms above my head. "How good that meal was."

"Did you even taste it?" he teased. "You spilled at least half of it down yourself."

"I did not!" I protested, unable to resist checking my clothes anyway. Typically, I didn't find any.

Jake chuckled. "Made you look."

I shoved him lightly. "Ass."

He moved closer, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "You really are a messy eater though," he told me seriously. When he came nearer still, my heartbeat rocketed. Especially since his gaze was focused on my mouth.

"Am not," I breathed.

"Are too," he disagreed. The tip of his tongue flicked out, catching a drop of blood at the corner of my mouth that I'd missed. "See?"

I was no longer listening. "Jake..."

He recognised the need in my voice before I could erase it, and kissed me. My eyes closed and everything exploded. I didn't want it to be this easy for everything to click into place, but it was. All the particles that made me leaned toward him, breathing him in like he was vital. I knew vampires didn't imprint, but sometimes I was sure I had. It just...became _simple _when Jake was with me. All that mattered was him. Anything else, it all just became a background noise, like a radio out of tune. Sometimes that was good thing. Sometimes it wasn't. Because invariably - or invariably for the past three months - one kiss turned into two, and two turned into Jake losing the few items of clothing he wore, and that turned into me shedding my garments, and that turned into making love. Wherever we were. And while 'sheer bliss' didn't even begin to cover how that felt...it was still a secret from everyone I cared about. And that made me feel horrible.

Before I could completely melt under him, I pulled my mouth from his, pushed at his chest. "Jake, we can't."

"Why not?" he asked. There was no frustration behind his question, just simple curiosity.

"Because I feel like we're having an affair!" I said. "And I'm cheating on my parents."

He squeezed my hands. "Ness, it's not like you're screwing around. And it's not like this is meaningless," he added, kissing my forehead. "You mean everything to me, you know that."

"I know," I sighed, "but all this sneaking around is making me feel dirty...even when it's not actually sneaking around."

Seeing him on a daily-basis was completely normal, had been completely normal for all my life - but whereas before I'd headed to La Push to hang out, to watch movies, or hunt, or play thunder-baseball, now it was to check if Jake was alone. And if he was, we'd usually end up in bed. Or on the couch. Or against the wall. Or once on the kitchen table. I didn't like to think about some of the things the pack had probably seen in Jake's thoughts; I was having a hard enough time hiding it from one person - my father - let alone five.

Jake was looking guilty again. "Are you sure I didn't-"

I put my hand over his mouth. "No, you didn't pressure me into anything. I love being with you, I love how your skin feels next to mine, I love..." I teetered on the edge of saying it, but something wouldn't let me. I was in love with him, that much I knew irreversibly, but neither of us had said it yet. "...everything about this. About us."

"So why not just quit with the sneaking and _tell _them?" he asked.

"Because what do I say when my mom asks when it happened, Jake?" I put my hand to his cheek, letting my worry seep out. _When Mom asks when, Halloween will fill my head, Dad will hear it, he'll know what happened, he'll want to skin you alive, and then for all I know it'll be the spark that takes us all back to the nineteenth century, and it'll be the Wolves verses the Cold Ones all over again. _The picture of my family and the pack on the brink of war was something that was all-too-vivid, so clear I could almost imagine that it was me with the gift of premonition, not Alice.

His eyebrows shot up. "You get all that from us sleeping together? Nessie, how long have you been worrying about this?"

"...a while."

"Since Halloween?"

I twisted my mouth. "Not exactly. More like...since the first of November."

* * *

_**November 1st**_

_**Jacob**_

I was going to commit murder. As soon as I could open my eyes. And find out who spiked the drinks last night. Seth. Had to be Seth. Or maybe Quil.

Whoever was responsible, though, the result was the same; my head felt like someone had taken an axe to it, then decided to finish the job with a sledgehammer. _Jesus, how much did I drink...?_

And I felt like I'd been running all night, though if that was the case then I wouldn't be in La Push, I'd be somewhere in Northern Canada. Wanting to work out the stiffness in my muscles, I stretched my arms with a sleepy groan-

And met skin.

Wait, skin? Oh crap. Had I actually been that drunk? I had absolutely no idea- I stopped, the panic receding. It had to be Renesmee. Surely. It wasn't like we hadn't shared a bed before - in a completely innocent and platonic way - and after a party, bed-space was always limited. And she definitely smelled like Nessie. Double-checking, I cracked my eyes open, and felt the automatic smile on my face. It was Renesmee - her sleeping face completely peaceful. She looked so beautiful. She _was _so beautiful. And damn it, this felt so right. It would be so easy to just lean forward, kiss her lips gently. We should wake up like this every day.

I no longer felt guilty about the direction my thoughts were going. She'd just turned nine years old, and was definitely 'of age', whatever that meant. Slowly the way I'd felt had moved from wanting to know she was safe to wanting _her_, to make her my mate. It was so clear that this was the way things should be. Unfortunately, as far as I knew, she didn't feel the same way yet - if she ever would.

In her sleep, Nessie shifted closer, letting out a sleep little moan. "Mmmm, Jake..."

Grinning stupidly, I pulled her into my arms. She was almost as warm as I normally was, and her skin was so soft. Especially the skin on her back, I thought, idly stroking up and down her spine.

...why could I feel bare back beneath my fingers? The answer didn't take long to slam into my very-stunned brain. It wasn't just her back I could feel. She was naked. I checked. So was I.

Oh God no.

We couldn't have- And if we had, then I'd _definitely _remember-

_Fuck. _I was absolutely going to kill whoever had put alcohol in my drink. We'd _slept _together - we hadn't made love, we hadn't talked, I didn't even know if she looked at me that way... Guilt stabbed at me, then redoubled as I realised all the implications of this. It had been her first time. She'd lost her virginity to a drunken fumble in the dark, to a supremely-awkward morning-after. It wasn't remotely approaching what she deserved. And what about the physical consequences? Had we even used protection? She could be _pregnant..._

I didn't have time for anything else, since she stirred, and panic flooded me. Stupidly, I chose the quickest option - I closed my eyes and went for feigning sleep. Ness woke up slowly, stretching just as I had. Then she stiffened. The sound of her breathing stopped for almost too long. She carefully moved out of my arms, taking the comforter with her.

"Jacob, I know you're awake."

Her voice was clear, and almost too steady. It didn't leave room for negotiation. It required that I sit up and open my eyes. So I did. She kept her eyes on my face and handed me a pillow. Then we sat there for a second, two best friends sitting opposite one another with very obvious sex between us. She just looked at me. The morning had gone from horrific to completely bizarre.

"So...do you think we had sex?" she asked.

I looked away, nodded. "Can't think of any other reason we'd..."

"Be naked and in bed together?" she finished.

"Yeah."

She winced, ran a hand through her tousled hair. I hated that she looked completely sexy. I hated that I noticed it. "And I'm guessing my head isn't the only one throbbing?"

"Drinks were spiked," I muttered.

She forced a laugh. "Well, that's two firsts for me last night, I guess."

I frowned at her. "Don't, Ness. Don't trivialise this."

"What else am I supposed to do, Jake?" she asked, shrugging helplessly. "Freak out and jump screaming out the window? Is that what you want me to do?"

"No!" I said sharply, going cold at the idea. "Of course I don't want you to go, Nessie, I..."

She took a deep breath. "Okay, so...we have two choices, right? Either we let this ruin our friendship and everything gets really awkward and eventually we get to the point of only saying 'hi' on Thanksgiving-"

I couldn't help the smirk that curled my mouth - even though she was clearly the most uncomfortable she'd ever been in my presence, she was still coming up with elaborate and unlikely situations. The smile faded as she continued.

"-or we go back to normal."

"Normal?" I asked.

"Yeah, Jake," she shrugged. "Look, we were drunk, and clearly we don't want anything further, since we'd have already done something, but we've never even kissed."

I couldn't argue; it was true. We never had. No matter how many times I'd fantasied about it. She was looking at me expectantly, but hadn't given me an option I wanted to follow. Where was the 'or we see where this goes' choice? It wasn't exactly the typical morning-after for most guys - I was willing her to ask me how I felt about her. The answer would of course be she was the centre of my universe.

But left without the chance to say any of those things, I didn't have courage to start. So I was as honest as I could. "I can't lose you, Nessie."

She smiled. "I don't want to lose you either. So we're pretending this never happened?"

_No! No, we're not - we're talking about this, we're being something more than we were yesterday-_

She stretched out her hand to me. With a sinking heart, I took it. "Sure."

Just before she let go, though, I caught something. Regret, and...longing? Was she...? Hope unexpectedly breaking through, I leaned forward. "Ness-"

She didn't give me time to finish the sentence - there was a blur, and then the bathroom door slammed shut. Her clothes were gone too. I stared at the bathroom door for a moment. Had I felt that wrong? No, I decided finally. She didn't want to stop this either. So why was she pretending she didn't?

She came out of the bathroom before I'd come up with an answer, and all I had left was to bite the bullet. She smiled, then nodded. "I'll see you later, Jake. Bye-"

Halfway to the door, I caught her wrist. She turned back to me, then colour flooded her cheeks. "Jake! Please!"

Oh. Right. Still naked. Grabbing the pillow again, I maintained my grip on her wrist. "We need to talk more."

"I can't talk to you while you're wearing a pillow, Jacob!" she snapped.

An impatient sigh and a pair of boxers later, I was able to dispose of the pillow. "Better?"

"No," she said. "I've said all I have to say, Jake, and if we keep talking about this then it's just going to get more awkward, honestly. It's better that we pretend this never happened."

I took a deep breath. "And if I don't want to?"

She stared up and me, her brown eyes huge and for the first time, completely unreadable. Then she pulled her hand free of mine. She walked to the door almost as though her mind was dragging an unwilling body with it. Or as if she was yanking my heart right out of my chest with her. It certainly felt that way. At the door, she paused, studying the floor. "I'm sorry, Jake," she whispered. "But I do."

It was a long time before I moved, and then it was to sit back down on the bed. I felt totally empty.

* * *

_**Renesmee **_

From my hand still on his cheek, I felt my eyes fill with tears. I hadn't meant to break his heart like that, but at the time it felt like the best course of action. For all I knew then, 'friends with benefits' would have been enough for him. It seemed stupid, especially now, but we were so good at being best friends I had no idea if we'd work as a couple.

"I'm so sorry, Jake," I whispered, the tears escaping.

He leaned forward, kissed my cheeks once, catching the salty drops. "You came back, Nessie. That's all that matters."

I smiled, kissed him. "I can't believe you let me back in. I would have slammed the door in my face."

He sighed, wrapped a massive arm around my shoulders. "I'll never be able to keep you out, Renesmee. No matter what you do."

"No matter what I do?" I repeated. "You make it sound like I'm intending to break your heart tomorrow!"

"That's not what I meant, Ness. It's just...okay, I'll admit it. I'm getting tired of pretending you aren't mine. That I'm not yours."

"So you want to tell them?" I asked quietly.

"Yes," he said firmly. "Whatever they have to say, we'll weather it."

_Easy for you to say..._ Jake didn't have to live with them. "But what about-"

This time his sigh was one of impatience. "Enough, Renesmee. We don't have to tell them about the sex. But I've had enough _pacing_. We care for each other, and that'll be enough for your family."

"Will it?"

He didn't bother with saying anything else; he got up, turning away. Driven by need to know what he was thinking, I reached out for him. He stepped away from me. I stopped. When I wanted him, Jacob had always come to me. Always. Since the day I was born. And now he was refusing to look at me.

"Jake-"

"Renesmee, I'm going to leave. I'm going back to Washington, and I'll see you a in a week. You need to think about what you want in that week."

My jaw dropped, cold flooding me. "Are you- Are you _breaking up _with me?"

His shoulders were tense. "No. But, Ness, I need more than you're giving me. You can't have it both ways." He faced me without looking me in the face, kissed my forehead. "I'll see you in a week, Nessie."

Then he phased, and was gone.

No amount of my screaming his name made him come back. It didn't take long to realise I was totally lost. Even the trees looked foreign. It didn't make sense. Pine trees in Forks, pine trees in Denali. They were exactly the same in genetic material, but now they were threatening. Alice and I had come up to Alaska because of a vision she'd had of Tanya, and we were staying with the coven. Alice was still in the house. Neither they nor Alice had any idea Jacob had followed us up. Or that every night this week we'd...

Wiping away my tears, I started the run back to the house. There was a swiftly-flowing river between here and there, and it served a specific purpose for me - it washed off the scent that Jake had left on me. The rest of the run, at my speed, dried my clothes and hair, even if it did leave me looking a little windswept.

When I arrived back, Alice was waiting for me. She didn't smile. Her topaz eyes were- Shocked. They were shocked. I stared. How was it even possible for Alice to be shocked by anything?

"Alice?" I asked cautiously. "Are you-"

She took my hand in her icy strong one and led me up to the porch. Then she stood me directly under the light. "Alice, what-"

"I want to see your face," she said. "I want to know you're not lying to me."

"Lie to you?" I echoed. "Why would I lie to-"

"You're sleeping with Jacob."

* * *

**A/N: Review please!**


	2. Self Pity

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews! And thank you a million to Miles333 for all her help. I hope you enjoy this too :) **

**Chapter Two - Self Pity**

_**Renesmee**_

I really shouldn't have been surprised. Really, if any member of my family was going to get it, it would have been Alice. I'd gotten too good at hiding my thoughts from my father. Jasper could pick up my emotions, of course, but all he had was suspicions. Alice had the future.

But even knowing that, I couldn't help the gasp that burst from my lips. "_What_?! Alice- I- I am _not-_"

I couldn't finish. She'd told me not to lie to her. But I wasn't ready to tell her the truth. So I looked away.

"I knew it!" she cried.

My head snapped up again at her tone. It wasn't disappointed or dismayed - she sounded excited. She sounded _happy_. "I don't understand," I said blankly. "Alice, are you-"

"Well I'm not thrilled to learn my niece is sexually active," she explained, still beaming, "but I thought I was going crazy! I had the vision more than six months ago now-"

"Wait, six months ago? That was before Jake and I- I mean we've only- Like three months-" Feeling the blush rise in my cheeks, I put an end to my non-sentence and looked at Alice for an explanation. "What did you see?"

"Well you know I can't see you or Jacob, but I saw your father. Seeing something he'd rather not see, trust me."

I stared, the image in my head mortifying. The idea of my father walking in on Jake and I- If we were having- "Shit," I said stupidly.

"It gets worse," she said, the smile now completely gone from her voice and face. "Have you ever seen your mother completely lose it?"

I shivered - I had once, as a baby. That memory had always stayed with me; a cold reminder of how strong she was. Of how dangerous any vampire was. It didn't help that the memory involved her attacking Jake. Yes, Seth had intervened...would he again? Could he? Could anyone? Suddenly the horrible imagining I'd had of war between my coven and the pack did not seem so ridiculous.

"You think Dad would attack Jacob?" I choked out.

She nodded. "I've seen it happen, Renesmee. There is literally nothing he'd be able to do to stop himself. On a genetic level, Jacob is a rival species, and Edward's DNA alone would compel him to act."

I squeezed my eyes shut. Jacob wouldn't be badly hurt - Emmett, Carlisle, the pack; they'd all pull them apart. But they wouldn't ever be fine again. I'd be forced to choose between them. I knew I'd choose Jacob. But that would break me.

"What do I do?" I whispered.

"Tell them," she told me. "You have to."

"If I tell them then what's to stop _both _of them eviscerating Jacob?" I demanded.

"Oh, Nessie," she sighed. "I'm not suggesting you tell them everything. Just tell them that you're happy. Tell them that Jacob makes you happy."

"He does," I said, then hesitated, my heart sinking.

"Does he know that?" Alice asked shrewdly. She sniffed. "You don't smell so much like dog as you normally do when you come back from your 'hunting trips'. Did you have a fight?"

A stab of guilt struck at me. "Yeah. He thinks we should tell Mom and Dad too. I've been prevaricating, and he's- He's had enough," I finished. "I'm scared, Alice. I don't want to lose either of them."

"Are you in love with him?" she asked me frankly.

I had to be equally frank. "Yes."

She immediately pulled me into a fierce hug, so tight it hurt even my bones. "That's so wonderful," she whispered. "It's the best feeling in the world, isn't it? So whole. So brilliant." Then she leaned back, her hands on my shoulders. "So why haven't you wanted to share it with everyone?"

"I _do _want to share it," I protested, "but what do I do when Mom and Dad find out we're already sleeping together?"

"Nessie, don't put their relationship on a pedestal," she smiled, squeezing my shoulder. "Yes, they waited. But your father was born in the nineteenth century and he was a vampire where Bella was human."

I frowned. I know every kid likes to think their parents have the perfect relationship, but my parents _did_. They'd sacrificed everything for each other, Dad had saved my mom's life, Mom had saved his - they loved one another into eternity. They literally had a love that hadn't existed since Shakespeare had last put pen to paper.

"So what are you saying - that it was because Dad's old-fashioned and was afraid of hurting Mom?" I asked.

"Yes, in a nutshell. They loved each other, very much. And like any couple, they would have expressed it physically if they could."

Relief flooded me. In the back of my head had always lurked the suspicion that Jake and I just didn't love each other enough. That if we had the same kind of love that my parents did, we'd have waited until... But we hadn't. Did that mean we would fade, eventually? But from what Alice said...they only difference was that Jake and I had the opportunity where my parents hadn't.

I looked back up at Alice, unable to help the hope in my tone. "Really?"

She nodded. "I think so. I wouldn't come right out and tell them you're having sex, but at least tell them there's something between you and Jacob. For his sake if nothing else."

I nodded, then sighed. "Alright. Just...do me a favour? When they start trying to ground me, will you back me up?"

She grinned. "Of course. But be careful," she added, "if you're not then there'll be a lot of tension there too."

"I'd choose Jacob."

Alice smiled encouragingly. "I know. If I had to I'd choose Jasper. But you don't have to choose, Renesmee. Jacob doesn't want you to does he?"

I closed my eyes. No, he didn't. He just wanted to be everything he was - open and proud. And basically I was making him be something he wasn't. "Urgh, this is so twisted..."

Alice smiled, touched my face. "So untwist it, Nessie."

I looked away from the house, toward the darkened forest. The forest that somewhere, still resounded with the thump of paws. If he wasn't already running through Canada by now. I took a step off the porch, intending to go after him. Alice's hand on my shoulder stopped me. "Not now."

"Why not?" I asked. "Alice, he's hurting. I can't just leave him-"

"And I can't let you go haring through Canada alone. Your mother would kill me," she said firmly. "And we're not done here yet."

"Have you seen more?" I asked, my attention diverted momentarily. All Alice had seen so far was that the Denali Coven would need help with something soon, but hadn't got any idea what.

She nodded. "Yes. We're dealing with a newborn. A newborn like Carlisle."

"Really?"

That had only happened once before as far as I knew - with my mom. She'd been able to prevent herself from going after a group of humans who were too close, but that was a one-off. Newborns were driven with a primal instinct to kill and feed immediately. That Carlisle was able to control himself without help was amazing - even Mom, though she hadn't fed from humans, hadn't been able to ignore the thirst altogether for any length of time. Carlisle still held that record, and I couldn't imagine it was something that would ever be repeated.

"Wow."

"Yes," she agreed, "and she's close, but she's also failing. She won't be able to keep up not feeding on humans without help."

I nodded. "So let's go help her."

The sooner we had this newborn in the care of Tanya and her coven, the sooner we could get back to Forks and I could apologise to Jacob. He'd only been gone less than an hour, and already the tight knot in my chest was suffocating. I couldn't bear that there should be tension between us - it was almost as bad as the first week in November had been, before I realised I needed him. Waiting another week more now before I could see him, before I could hold him? It wasn't a choice. I needed to tell him I was sorry. I needed him to forgive me.

I tore my thoughts away from Jacob when I realised Alice was still talking. "...or I could just grow wings and turn into a bat," she remarked.

I blinked. "Huh?"

"You're thinking about Jacob," she said.

"Hey," I protested, nudging her gently, "no fair. Only Dad's supposed to do that."

"It's written on your face, Nessie," she told me. "And I know it's hard, but can you focus on this for a second? We need to do this before we can go home."

I nodded, mentally delivering a slap to myself. "Yes," I said. "Yes. Sorry, I know."

She smiled. "Now come on. We don't have long to get to Cantwell."

"Cantwell? I thought she was feeding on animals?" I asked.

Alice shook her head. "She's not feeding on anything at the moment, that's the trouble. I don't know if she's ignoring her cravings or what, but whatever it is, she's being drawn closer and closer to humans."

My brow furrowed. "But if she's in the National Park then she has to have come across animals, surely? So how can she not have fed by now? Is she scared?"

Alice nodded. "Wouldn't you be? To wake alone knowing you're terrifyingly different, but not know how, or why you want to kill?"

I shivered; though my background wasn't conventional, at least I'd always known what made me. I'd never felt as though my vampire half was an alien force that lurked insidiously inside me. Was that what it had felt like for everyone around me? Was shapeshifting the same? When it had begun to happen to Jacob-

_No,_ I though, cutting off that thought. I wasn't about to start dwelling on Jacob again. He'd forgive me once I apologised. I hoped.

"Right, so we're going to Cantwell and then intercepting her?"

"Yes," Alice confirmed. "Wait here. I'll go make sure Tanya and the others are ready."

I nodded, then turned to look out at the forest. I couldn't help the feeling that this was a waste of time. Whoever this newborn was, couldn't Alice and I simply give Tanya all the information and then leave? If we went now then maybe I could even catch up to Jacob.

I sighed, shaking my head. Alice was right. I needed to get my head out of the clouds and back down to earth.

* * *

It took us no more than twenty minutes to run to Cantwell. The Denali Coven lived deep in the National Park, and the town was on the outskirts, just under two hundred miles away. I was the only one a little out of breath. We stopped in the patch of darkness before the streetlights started. Alice was staring into the middle distance, looking at everything and nothing all at once.

She snapped out of it, took a step forward - then stumbled, her effortless grace for once letting her down. I caught her elbow. "Alice?"

She regained her feet immediately, stepped away from me. "Thanks, Nessie." Ignoring the fact that I was staring at her in concern, she addressed Tanya, Kate and Garrett. Carmen and Eleazar had remained in the National Park. "She's going to arrive here in less than ten minutes - but she's slow, and running low on strength. Renesmee and I probably have the best chance at talking her down - Renesmee, at least."

It _was _true that I had the best chance of not being viewed as a threat, simply because I wasn't a full vampire. And also because, if worse came to worst, I might act as bait. If we couldn't divert her away from the town, then I had a heartbeat and the smell of human about me. I could draw her away from the people living here. Alice would never suggest I put myself in danger; I was unsure if she knew the way my thinking was taking me. I wasn't planning to tell her.

Alice continued. "You three will be going North for a mile. Make sure you stay upwind, and then circle back. Renesmee and I will either have spoken to her or driven her into the woods. Stop her if she runs into your perimeter."

They nodded, then melted into the darkness. Alice and I were left alone. "What else was it?" I asked immediately. "I've never seen you trip in your entire life, Alice, what's going to happen?"

"I get in the way," she said ruefully. "Don't worry, all I need to do is step to the left," she added at my frown.

"Alice..."

"Trust me, Nessie."

Her smile was so blindingly open that I believed her, and smiled. All my life I'd been trusting that Alice - like the rest of my family - knew exactly what she was doing and everything would work out fine.

I should have known better. Especially on today, of all days - the day that Jacob had already turned his back on me. How could everything be as it had always been when that had happened? It was almost cataclysmic. And whatever fracture it had caused was widening - Alice was wrong.

She was hurt - the newborn was not slow, or at least it didn't seem so to me. She was as quick as any other vampire, and definitely stronger. When she's shown up at the edge of town, I'd approached her with assurances that I had no intention of hurting her. Even before she got within twenty feet I knew it wouldn't work. She was too far gone into her hunger to be anything except an animal, driven by instinct. Her eyes were red, but a dark, deep red. Almost purple. Burgundy. How long had she been stopping her thirst?

However long it had been, I was sure she was going to try and kill me. Then she stopped, her nostrils flaring. She'd caught Alice's scent. Alice saw her stop too, and moved into position behind the newborn, about a hundred feet away. The newborn paused for a moment, glaring between the two of us. For a second her body quivered toward me. But she didn't attack for some reason. I had no idea why she left me alone - perhaps it was because I was somewhere in the middle. Not vampire enough to be a threat, and not human enough to be considered food. With a snarl and a flash of fangs, she lunged for Alice.

The two of us knew that if we tried to take her down alone, we wouldn't win. So we both rushed her, and caught her between us with a force that would have pulped a human. It did little to her, except to make her angrier. She twisted impossibly to grab at me with her fingernails. Shock more than pain was the first thing I registered when they raked across my scalp. Logically I knew I must be bleeding, and the newborn certainly knew. Suddenly Alice wasn't a threat because she could kill her. She was a threat because I was now a food source.

She went after my throat next, then my ribs. But then suddenly Kate and Garrett were with us, and then there was the new smell of animal blood and- Everything blurred like I was running. I heard voices of people I recognised, one I didn't, but nothing sunk in. Until Alice's cool hands grasped mine. Then it all stopped again.

I swallowed, coughed a couple of times. Air started to make its way back into my lungs. "Ow."

"Nessie, you're bleeding, and you- Damn visions! I swear, if I'd known this was going to happen, I'd have- I'm so sorry, Ness! Your parents are going to- Are you okay, Nessie? Ness, talk to me!"

"Alice. Alice, stop, please. I'm fine. And what do you mean, 'bleeding', I'm not-" I cut off as I put my hand to my head and discovered that I was, in fact, bleeding. Quite vigourously from my scalp. Most of the left side of my head was wet; my hair was matted with it. And the right side of my face was hurting too, but more sharply than my head. It felt like grazes.

I looked at my scarlet hand. "I'm bleeding. I'm _still _bleeding." I looked up at her blankly. "Alice, how can I be bleeding?"

Like my family, I'd gotten used to the idea that I was completely invulnerable. Sure, I'd fallen over as a child, gotten the scrapes and cuts that most kids do, but they'd all healed within seconds. The attack had happened _minutes _ago, and I was still bleeding?

Alice shook her head. "Maybe because she's a vampire. You've never been attacked by one before. I guess you'll heal more slowly because of that." Her face was drawn, pale even for a technically dead woman. "I'm so sorry, Renesmee."

I smiled, then winced. "Don't be. You couldn't know it was going to happen, and I'm fine. Not even unconscious."

She blew out a sigh, ran a hand through her short black hair. "Your parents are going to kill me."

"Then maybe we just don't tell them," I suggested, looking around. Alice had sat me down on a rock at the side of the road, and there was no one else in sight; not Kate, Tanya, Garrett or the newborn. "Did the others...?"

"No," she said hurriedly. "She's not dead. Tanya caught and killed a polecat, brought it to her. Once she'd fed it was easier to get her away from you." She swallowed. "You smell almost as good as your mother did when she was human."

"What's her name?" I asked. "The newborn?"

"Robyn," she answered. "She's with Tanya now and the others now, hunting. After she'd fed she was more rational, and once she's drained a bear or two she'll be completely fine. We should get back."

I nodded, and let Alice pull me to my feet. I really wanted to go home, but I needed a shower more than anything. The dried blood down my hair and face was getting sticky. "Urgh."

By the time we returned to the house, I felt I knew what it was like to be human. My head swam, my knees were trembling. I honestly felt as though I had been attacked. Alice was still looking nervously at me. I touched my hair again. "At least I've stopped bleeding now," I pointed out.

"True," she agreed. "Why don't you take a shower before the others get back?"

I nodded. It would hardly be fair on Robyn if I still smelled of blood when she arrived. I turned the water up as hot as I could bear it, but it never quite got to Jacob's body temperature, the only thing that would have warmed me. I scrubbed hard at my head to get out all the matted blood, and thankfully the wounds didn't reopen. Apparently while it was delayed by vampire attacks, my healing ability still exceeded that of a human's. It would take me possibly three days, and then there would be no sign of my wounds.

There was no solace to be found in that likelihood. I wanted my Jacob, and he wasn't here. I rubbed my fingertips through my hair a little harder. "Stupid, Renesmee, stupid, stupid..."

The water was cold by the time I stepped out from under the water; it hardly mattered, since the others were all vampires. I dressed in some clean clothes and made my way downstairs. The others were all assembled there, Tanya assuring a nervous-sounding Robyn that the way they lived was sustainable, and was something that she was strong enough for.

I grimaced; the state of my face and wrist would hardly assure her of that, but it couldn't be helped. When their voices fell temporarily silent I knew they'd heard my footsteps, and I pushed open the door with my muscles a little tense. I wasn't sure what she'd be like, how far the animal blood would have gone to calm her down.

It seemed that Robyn was as unsure as me; she was at the far end of the room, her expression guarded. She nodded at me though, as soon as I came in. "Sorry," she said softly.

"I understand," I replied. "No hard feelings."

That was true, but I still wanted go home more than anything else.

We moved through the motions of polite conversation, but now that the job had been done, my edginess was starting to show, and I knew Alice shared it. She probably had before, but for Alice, her visions were everything. She had an important one, and it had to be followed, researched, explored in every possible way until it had been solved. Now that it had been done, and everything up here was sorted, I knew she shared my desire to get back to Forks and back to the rest of the coven. Back, like me, to the man she loved.

* * *

_**Jacob**_

"No. No way."

I stared incredulously at Leah. "No?"

"That's right," she said, folded her arms, "I am not spending another night listening to your 'woe is me' thoughts, Jacob!"

"My _what _thoughts?"

"You heard me," she said. "Ever since you got back from Alaska, all you think about is how you've blown it with Renesmee, how she'll never forgive you, how when the Cullens find out they'll be after your hide-" She huffed out a sigh. "I could go on, Jake. The point is, you know perfectly well she _will _forgive you, you know that you haven't blown it, and you know that, yeah, the Cullens probably will try and tear you apart, but you also know that every single one of us has your back!"

My initial snarl stayed on my lips. Mainly because neither Seth nor Quil had said anything to oppose Leah's opinion. Which meant they agreed with it. "I have not been _that _bad."

"You have been kinda...moping, Jake," Seth said hesitantly. "Don't worry, I mean, Ness is your imprint, we all get why-"

Leah made a noise to indicate she definitely didn't-

"-but it is getting a bit..."

"Self-pitying," Leah finished firmly.

I took a deep breath. "Either way, we're patrolling. So, Leah, phase and start."

Unable to resist my order, she did so with a snarl on her lips. Everyone else followed suit except Seth, his eyes looking at me with an expression that indicated I'd somehow betrayed him. I sighed, preparing to spend an evening with my pack's angry voices inside my head - then my cellphone rang.

When I looked at the caller-ID, my heart rose like it was filled with helium. Nessie. I answered with a brilliant grin on my face. "You're back."

Her voice was warm with relief. "_I'm back if you're not mad at me anymore._"

I chuckled. "No, Ness, I'm not mad at you."

"_Good, because I need to see you_," she said. "_Meet you at the border?_"

The words 'be there in ten seconds' were on the tip of my tongue - then I remembered the pack. If I'd been being self-pitying before-

"Go, Jacob," Seth urged, interrupting my thoughts. "You need to see her."

Leah gave an agreeing growl. I lifted the phone back to my ear. "On my way."

I phased, then dashed into the trees. It took no more than thirty seconds to reach the border, and Renesmee's scent grew stronger with every step I took. That delicious mix of wind and sunshine. When I heard her footsteps approaching at almost the same speed I was moving, I changed form again. Just in time to catch her in my arms.

She was apologising before she'd even taken a breath. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry-"

"Me too, Nessie, God me too, I'm such an _idiot-_"

"No, I'm the one who should be apologising-"

We both stopped, and I realised that we'd been together for at least ten seconds and I hadn't kissed her yet. She seemed to have the same thought, and leaned up toward my mouth. Her lips met mine and everything went right again.

Until ten seconds later, when she pulled away, one hand rubbing her ribs in apparent discomfort. I frowned. "What's wrong?"

She shook her head silently, turning slightly away. A lance of moonlight hit the side of her face.

"What-" I cut off, staring in mounting horror at the half-healed cuts that littered the side of her face. "What the hell happened?"

She put her hand up to her cheek, the pink growing a little brighter even in the dark. "Oh, it was nothing, I just-"

I grabbed her wrist harder than I meant to, almost dragging her over to me. "Nothing?" Tearing her hand from her face, it was obvious that not only was she hurt, but she'd been attacked. She winced, then rubbed her wrist. I caught sight of deeply purple bruising. Suddenly I was shaking. There was only one thing I needed to know before I phased and ripped apart whoever - whatever - had done this to her.

"Who was it?" I snarled.

Her eyes widened as she saw my body vibrating, and she put a hand on my chest and one on my neck. She knew it would take too long to explain everything vocally - I was seconds away from phasing right now.

As soon as she touched my skin, a flood of images hit my mind. The newborn, trying to help, the misunderstanding, the fight - it all came so fast that I reeled backward. She caught me before I fell. Her voice was still timid as she asked, "Jake?"

The anger had almost completely drained out of me. And she was okay, there had been no damage done. But still...if I hadn't left then I would have been there. I would have protected her. She'd been hurt because of me.

_Oh no, don't you dare! _Renesmee's voice sternly told me. I opened my eyes, and her brown eyes were just as fierce as her tone had been. "You are not to blame for this, Jacob Black. Don't you dare for one second think that. This is my fault, if anyone's. I got careless and sloppy. Alice was there. She was just as capable of protecting me as you are."

"We both know that's not true," I replied. "I'm built to kill vampires, Ness, you know that. Pixie isn't."

She sighed. "Alright," she conceded. "But please don't blame yourself. If Mom and Dad see you looking so despondent when we tell them it'll look like you don't really want to be with me."

"The fact remains that if I hadn't-" I skidded to a stop, her words penetrating my brain. I stared at her. Her grin was slightly nervous. "You- You want to tell them?"

She nodded. "I do. You're right, Jake. You were right all along. We never should have tried to-"

She shut up as I kissed her.

* * *

**A/N: Review please! **


	3. Papa Don't Preach

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews! Sorry this chapter took so long! **

**Chapter Three - Papa Don't Preach**

_**Renesmee **_

This was going to end disastrously. There was no way in _hell_ I was going to be able to hide...well, _everything_, from my father. It just _was not _possible. I kept rehearsing the conversation in my head.

"_Hey, everybody! Jacob and I are together now, just thought you should know." _

"_Together how?" _

...then everything would blow up in a blur of claws and fur and fangs. None of it pretty, and all of it my fault.

I jumped when a hand gripped my shoulder, instinct temporarily taking over. Whoever it was almost got slammed against the wall before my senses kicked in - specifically my sense of smell. Jacob's scent. With my hand around his throat, all my lover did was to look down on me with a black eyebrow raised in amusement.

"Tense much?"

"Jake!" I let go quickly. "Sorry! Jesus, what is the matter with me?"

"You're over-thinking it again?"

I sighed. "Probably."

He smiled and held out a hand to me, a steaming mug of camomile tea in it. I took it with a raised eyebrow. "You're kidding me."

"It's calming."

"It's also cat urine in another form. I'm not drinking it, Jake."

"I told you she'd say that," Alice's voice chimed in from the doorway. Looking a bit annoyed, Jacob turned to look down on my aunt. She was holding a mug too, though this one was full of hot chocolate. That one I took happily. It was one of the few warm non-blood related liquids I'd drink with any pleasure. And it did calm me.

We were stood in the dining room, with my parents at the other end of the house. When I'd told Jake twenty minutes ago that I wanted to tell my parents about us, I hadn't been counting on the 'strike while the iron is hot' attitude that he had. So now here I was, chronologically eight years old, physically seventeen, mentally about thirty - facing what could quite possibly be my last moments on Earth. Or maybe I was being overly dramatic.

Once I'd finished my drink, the door opened again, and Jasper stepped through - and inspiration struck. "Jasper!" I threw myself on my very stunned uncle, hugging him tightly. "Oh thank God!"

Jake looked both amused and surprised. "You didn't think of him before?"

I let go of Jasper, feeling a blush heat up my cheeks. "Not immediately, but…" Seeing there was little point in trying to deceive anyone, I let my pride go with a sigh. "No, I didn't think of him. Blind _panic_ took over from everything else."

Jasper smiled comfortingly. "I'll keep Edward calm, I promise."

I blew out a sigh. "Thanks."

Jake's warm hand found mine. "Ready?"

I nodded decisively. "Ready." On the way to the door, I hesitated. "Um, you can keep Mom calm too, right?"

Alice gave a soft chuckle from behind us, and Jasper's grin did little to hide his own amusement with the situation. Nonetheless, he nodded. "Right."

Jacob kissed my temple. "It's going to be fine, Ness. I'm here."

The sense of calm that flooded me was so sudden and complete that it might have come from Jasper's interference, except I knew that it didn't. This could be hideous, but equally it couldn't last forever. And with Jake next to me, it would turn out okay in the end. I chose not to think about the fact that, with parents who were both immortal, 'the end' could be a very long way away.

I put my hand on the door handle. _Okay, think unsexy thoughts..._

In the end, though, the fear worked in our favour. Jacob's hand maintained its firm grip on mine, and when we walked into the house, both my parents' eyes flicked down to them. The panic came flooding back full-force — which was a good thing. All that were filling my head were pleas to my father: _please don't be mad, please don't be mad, please don't be mad…_

Jake spoke first. "Edward, Bella, we have something to tell you."

A tiny frown began forming between his eyebrows. _Don't be mad, don't be mad, don't be mad…_

As if she didn't know, Mom gestured to the couple behind us as well. "Which we?"

Now he was definitely looking less than pleased. _Don't be mad, don't be mad, don't be mad, don't be mad, don't be mad… _

I swallowed. "Jacob and I."

Oh God, now his hands were fisted. Unconsciously, I took a little step closer to Jacob. If it came to a fight, then I thought possibly he'd be less inclined if he had to go through me, and he _would _have to go through me before he laid a hand on Jake. _DON'T BE MAD, DON'T BE MAD, DON'T BE MAD, DON'T BE MAD-_

Dad held up both hands. "Renesmee, please!"

"I'm sorry, Dad, but- Please don't be mad-"

Mom sighed, and then a cool shiver passed over me. I really hoped she'd extended the shield over Jacob as well. I relaxed a little. The plan had worked well so far, though I did feel a little guilty about manipulating my parents like that. Looking as though she knew exactly what that had been about, my mother turned her golden eyes on me.

"More calmly now please, Nessie," she requested musically.

"That's pretty much it," I told them. "Jacob and I are together. And I really don't want you to get mad."

"Are you happy?" she asked.

I nodded emphatically. "Totally."

She smiled broadly. "Then I'm not mad." She looked at Jacob, her eyes narrowing infinitesimally. "Break her heart and I'll break you in half."

I thought she was joking. Thought she was. Probably. Maybe. Jake didn't take the chance, and only nodded seriously. "Understood."

I looked nervously at my father - his hands hadn't relaxed yet, and his eyes were fixed on mine and Jake's joined hands. "Dad?" I asked timidly.

"When did this happen?" he asked lowly.

"Halloween."

He nodded, gaze flicking to Jacob before he stood up. "And which of you-?"

"Me," I said quickly. I had no idea if that was the truth, since neither of us could remember anything from that night. And the pack weren't much help - Seth recalled us kissing madly in a corner, but not who had kissed whom first. It seemed safer to assume it had been me. Especially when facing my dad.

He did not seem convinced, though, and stepped closer to Jacob. Jake didn't shy away from him - not that I'd expected for a second he would. "Edward, I never would have touched her unless Ness made the first move, you know that."

Dad decided that if that was a lie, then the best thing to do was to stare the truth out of Jacob. I was torn between the urge to roll my eyes at the ridiculousness of it, and the urge to fake choking on the rising testosterone level in the room. I caught Mom's eye, and she smirked, reading my mind easily enough without the aid of telepathy. Before we both burst out laughing, we looked back at the men.

My father finally nodded. "Alright." He broke off staring at Jacob, and hugged me. "Thank you for telling us."

He was cold and hard, but the embrace still effused warmth through me. Feeling tears prick my eyes, I hugged back. "Thanks, Dad. Thanks for not being mad."

He drew back and touched my cheek gently. "We just want you to be happy, sweetheart."

"I know."

Mom smiled, kissed my forehead. Then she turned to Dad. "I'm hungry. Coming?" Without waiting for an answer, she took his hand and virtually dragged him from the house. "Have fun, you two!" she sang over her shoulder.

"Bella!" Dad protested. He twisted around to glare at the two of us. "Not _too _much fun, thank you very much!"

* * *

_**Jacob**_

"Well, that went better than expected."

Renesmee smiled, looking ready to faint from utter relief. I kissed her. "Nice job."

"Terror did the job, not me," she replied, wrapping her arms around my waist.

"You can't have been that scared?"

She shook her head, then buried her face in my chest. "You're the three people who mean everything to me."

She leaned up, and kissed me softly. After a second the fingers of one hand found their way into her hair, while the other closed around her waist, pulling her flush against me. She let out a cliched little sigh - cliched, but perfectly..._Renesmee_. And as much as I wanted nothing more than to let her hands go where they would once they started snaking downward - there were four wolves out in the forest waiting for me. And Leah, for one, would be supremely pissed if I abandoned them to make out (and then some) with my girlfriend.

With utmost reluctance, I pulled away, taking her hands. "I have to get back. Patrol."

Nessie nodded, though unhappily. "Patrol." Her lips met mine briefly. "Be careful."

I touched her face briefly, then left the house, phasing before I got to the tree-line. _Better now? _Leah's voice asked impatiently.

_Better_, I confirmed, heading for their location. _Any trouble?_

_Yes and no, _Seth answered, after a pause. _There's a vampire running around-_

_-and it's not one of the Cullens_, Quil finished. _Scent starts by the coast, then we lose it about twenty miles inland. _

_No one's been attacked yet though, _Embry put in. _Yet. _

_We should- _I skidded to a halt as I ran smack-bang into a scent trail. Definitely a blood-sucker, and as Quil said, it was not one of the Cullens, despite Edward and Bella being out hunting too. No, this one fed on humans; it was in the overly-coppery-sweetness of the smell. It automatically made my lip curl and a low growl burble up from deep in my chest.

_Found it_, I told the rest of the pack.

_Where? _Leah asked.

_Clifftop, where we used to dive. _

There was prolonged pause before Embry spoke. _But we found it leading from the beach at La Push..._

_So there's more than one of them?_

_Fuck! _Leah swore.

_Spread out, _I ordered, _see how many more trails there are. You get close, you call the rest of them for backup. Alright? Leah?_

_Alright, alright, _she shot back. _I won't tear the leech apart till you guys get there. _

We searched for hours, without success. There were six separate vampires in the fifty miles surrounding La Push and Forks, none of them belonging to the Cullens' coven. But we found none of them. The trails got stronger, then weaker, and then strong again, without leading to an actual vampire.

At dawn, I called it a night. We were running in literal circles. _Go home. I'll swing by the Cullens and tell them to look out too. _

Halfway there, I caught another scent, and like the others this caused alarm - but alarm born of concern. Renesmee, and her scent alone. She was about ten miles away, out here by herself, with _no _idea of the danger she was in! The direction I was going changed to head directly for Renesmee. In a few minutes I was there: a small clearing halfway up the mountain, and facing east. It was cloudy, as normal, but the cloud was broken enough so that a few rays of sunshine had broken through.

In sunlight, her parents would have glittered. My imprint glowed. There was a second sun shining on this mountain. The wind changed direction, and from lying on the ground she sat up, looking down into the trees. She smiled when she spotted me. "Are you going to stand there or come and kiss me?"

Not one to disobey orders, I bounded up the hillside and took it literally, licking her face several times while she giggled and shoved me off her. Finally I phased back into human form, and kissed her properly. I couldn't stop though; she was safe and well and alive underneath me, and suddenly the idea that she should be naked too was _very _appealing. Renesmee didn't seem to think it was a bad idea either. It wasn't the first time we'd made love outside (and I really hoped it wouldn't be the last), but normally it was because my bed on the reservation was far too distant to get to. This time it wasn't fast, or harsh - it was soft, slow. It was the tremble of her breath and the curve of her neck. It was the sigh she breathed and the sweetness of her lips. It was brilliant pleasure. It was making love in its literal form.

After the glow had faded for both of us, Renesmee took my face in her hands. "Are you alright, Jake?"

I nodded. "Why?"

She smiled. "You were trembling even before we started."

The smile faded from my face as it came flooding back; the reason I'd been so desperate to take in as much of her as I could. "There are vampires in the forest; at least half a dozen of them."

She sobered immediately. "Hostile?"

"If they were friendly then there's no reason for them not to make contact with your family," I pointed out.

"True. Did you find any of them?"

"Just scent-trails. But I don't want you out here alone until they're gone or dead."

She raised an eyebrow. "You're not _my_ alpha, Jacob."

"I'm not kidding, Renesmee - if you're on your own then there's no way in hell you'd survive an attack."

"I'll be careful, you know that-"

"Do I have to talk to Edward about this?"

Suddenly she stiffened, her muscles tensing as she sniffed the air. A second later I knew exactly why. "Speaking of Edward..."

"Shit."

* * *

**A/N: Review please!**


	4. Mistakes And Consequences

**A/N: Sorry this took me so long! Here's the next chapter, enjoy!**

**Chapter Four - Mistakes And Consequences**

_**Renesmee**_

We dressed with phenomenal speed even for us. The wind was still on our side, and while we knew my father was there — and his scent had now been joined by my mother's — he wouldn't yet know we were here. They would soon though, once they got close enough for our movements to be picked up by their super-sensitive hearing.

We were ready just in time; it was clear that we'd been doing _something_ — Jacob's fly was still undone, and my hair was tousled beyond repair, but hopefully I could blame that on running through the trees. And I didn't think either of my parents would be looking at Jake's crotch. As long as the smell of sex wasn't too strong…we could be okay.

Once they got close enough to smell us both without the assistance of the breeze, my mother's melodious voice rang out. "Renesmee!"

My doubt grew; they weren't out of the trees yet, and Mom could smell us already. No way they wouldn't smell the pheromones both of us had to be pumping out. I put my hand on Jake's chest, pushing him slightly. "Go," I urged in an undertone.

He shook his head stubbornly, voice just as soft. "No way."

The silhouettes of my parents detached themselves from the treeline at the bottom of the clearing. I swallowed, then hit on a plan. There was something else, something important we could think about. And it was something my parents should know. I looked at Jacob, speaking through my hand. _Think about the vampires._

It worked; worry and concern filled his expression, and filtered down through our contact to me. Vampires, out in the forest where they could harm people I cared about, people I loved-

"Are you and Bella both alright?" Jake asked as soon as they were standing in front of us.

"Why wouldn't we be?" Dad asked, frowning.

"There're vampires in the forest. At least half a dozen of them. Unfriendly ones."

My parents exchanged worried but understanding glances. "That would explain the deer we found."

"Deer?" I questioned.

"Up by the border — we found a whole herd with their throats torn out," Mom told us.

"By the border? The Denalis?"

Dad shook his head. "No, not a whole herd like that."

"How many of them?" Jacob asked, his arms folded and his expression totally focused.

"Twenty or so."

"More than would be needed for only six," I put in. This just got worse. How many of them _were _there? I thought of the days after my birth, the Volturi attack that never quite happened. Maybe we'd have to do a similar thing now, and assemble all the allies we could until the danger had passed. No one had been attacked yet, but if there were more than about ten strange vampires in the forest, it could realistically only be a matter of time.

"And Alice hasn't seen anything?" Jacob asked us.

I shook my head. "She hadn't while we were in Alaska, beyond the newborn we fought."

"We'll go home and check," Mom said.

Jake nodded thoughtfully. "I need to go warn the pack."

"I'll go with you," I said immediately.

"No," came at me from three directions.

"You should come with us," Dad added.

I shook my head, folding my arms. "No one should be out alone right now," I pointed out, carrying on before Jake could interrupt like he wanted to, "and, Jake, I don't care that you'll be alright, not if there are six-plus vampires out here."

Mom apparently agreed. "Come back to the house. I'll drive you back to La Push."

He nodded, much to my relief. "Alright. Come on then."

I'd almost forgotten about the compromising position my parents had almost caught Jacob and I in. Complacency was not my friend, though, not today. Mom's slender hand reached out to touch my collar. "Renesmee, your shirt is ripped."

_Shit! _There was no way to know if it had been ripped by Jacob when he was divesting me of my clothing or in the hurry to dress after the sex, but it hadn't been there before. "It is?" I asked, hearing how high and shrill my voice sounded. "Must've caught it on a tree." Even as I spoke, I knew there was no point in trying. It was too late; Mom's shield wasn't covering me, and Dad would have heard everything.

Sure enough, his feet slowly came to a halt as he stared at me in apparently mounting horror. Then he looked at Jake, then back at me. "Renesmee…you…"

I took a step to the left, toward Jacob, putting my hands up. "Dad, before you-"

Too late — before Mom or I could react, my father had thrown himself at Jacob, his frighteningly white teeth bared in a vicious snarl. The impact knocked Jacob off his feet, and in midair, he phased. They were both moving so fast that all I got was an impression of incredible strength — coupled with the intent to kill. I heard myself yelling both of their names, just as Mom was at my side. She'd dragged me away from the two of them, and was now holding me in position so I couldn't rush between the two of them and probably get myself hurt in the process.

"Edward-"

As soon as they were any distance apart, I knew both my mother and I would rush in and keep them apart. The opportunity came when Jacob kicked Edward off him. Twenty feet was nothing for the speed my father could run, but it was the chance Mom and I needed.

She let go of me and charged at her husband. "Alright, stop! _Both _of you!"

I didn't bother with shouting; it wouldn't help the situation. Instead I put myself in front of the massive wolf, hands outstretched and voice softly pleading. I'd never seen him so wild, and there seemed every chance he'd still smell vampire and take me down too. When I spoke to him, though, he stopped, still snarling. "Jake, please." I moved closer, until I could touch him, my hands touching his muzzle. "Calm down," I whispered. "Please."

After another second or two, during which I wasn't breathing, all signs of aggression left his body, and he moved closer to me, resting his head on my shoulder. I sighed in relief, continuing the soothing stroking with my hands.

_Thank God. Thought I'd lost you for a second there._

His nose touched my ear, then his tongue: cold and wet followed by warm and rough. _Never_.

It took Mom slightly longer to calm my father, but eventually Dad wasn't trying to tear Jacob's throat out. Neither was he looking at me or Jacob. "Back to the house," Mom said tightly.

It was an uncomfortable journey made in utter silence. Most of me wanted to grab Jacob's hand and run, but the impulses just weren't being converted into action. I had to obey my parents in this. The fallout was going to be huge, and it was going to be supremely ugly. Talk about cheating on my parents… I sighed. Well, united we stood, divided we fell.

Unfortunately, it seemed dividing us was precisely what my mother had in mind. She grabbed Jacob by the arm; I saw him shudder briefly before he visibly schooled his instinctual reaction to resist.

I touched his cheek. _I'll see you tomorrow. _

My father spoke for the first time since we'd arrived back at the house. "Like hell you will, Renesmee!"

Jacob's fingers squeezed mine. _Be careful. _

Once his massive, warm presence was gone, I crossed my arms again and fought the urge to shiver. My father said nothing else, but he glared at me as though he'd see right into my soul.

I swallowed, then spoke. "Alright, I'll start. I'm sorry, Dad, but we haven't done anything any other couple wouldn't."

He started where I knew he would. "Bella and I were married before-"

"Yeah, and why was that? Because you were born in the nineteenth century and because Mom was as fragile as tissue paper compared to your strength!" I wanted to argue my point logically, but now that I was in real danger of my father forbidding me from seeing Jake ever again — under no circumstances could I now remain calm. When I slammed my foot down, it went straight through the tile. "I am in no danger whatsoever with Jacob, and you know it!"

"That is _not _the point!" my father yelled. "You have betrayed the trust your mother and I placed in you to act responsibly!"

I rolled my eyes with a dismissive sound. "Dad, we've been careful-"

"I don't care! You should not even be _contemplating _sex at your age-"

We were both yelling now, standing ten feet apart but _screaming _at one another like any other _human_ father and daughter might. "I'm immortal! Age is completely irrelevant to this discussion _and _this situation!"

"Then you're not _mature _enough!"

"How so?" I demanded.

"It's not just a physical act, Renesmee, especially the first time. It means commitment, it means a deeply emotional bond forged between two people!"

"I agree — and I care so much for Jacob it makes my chest _ache_ sometimes, and you might not think I'm ready, or that I grasp all the implications, but you're wrong," I told him firmly. "Jake and I aren't just messing around, Dad. He means everything to me. Just like you and Mom do," I added imploringly. _Please don't make me choose, Dad… It's not a fight you can win. _

Hearing my thoughts, his golden eyes narrowed. "Are you in love with him?"

I put my chin defiantly in the air. "Yes. And he loves me too-"

In a very human gesture, Dad ran his hands roughly through his hair. "Strangely enough, Renesmee, that is not my primary concern!"

I narrowed my eyes, not understanding. Wasn't I his daughter? Shouldn't he be worried that I was the one who might get hurt? But his tone suggested that there was no way in hell Jacob would ever hurt me. In which case did that mean that _I _would be the one to break _Jacob's_ heart? "Then what is?" I asked angrily. "That I'm leading him on somehow, experimenting sexually until someone better comes along? Try and find me a better man than Jacob, Dad, spend the rest of eternity scouring the entire globe — you never will!"

"How can you be so oblivious to this, Renesmee? It's too late now — you _are _too young, and the _second _you realise that, the pile of _shit _you're going to plunge us all into-!"

Having never, ever heard my father swear in _any _capacity, no matter how angry, I stopped, staring. "What does that mean?"

"It means exactly that!" he spat. "You're too young for a serious relationship, and if you try and stop this now, you have no idea what you're going to do to Jacob, or to the alliance between the coven and the pack! You're too _young_!"

I couldn't stand there anymore, arguing with him — rage and pain and _need _for Jacob were all rising up and choking me. Before I gave into the urge to punch my father for yelling at me for something about which he had _no _idea, I turned and headed for the door.

"Where do you think you're going? We're not done talking about this!" he told me angrily.

"Yes we are, Edward! I can't believe you'd think that of me, that I could use _anyone _like that, much less Jake!"

I made it ten feet from the house before the sobs came, and my hands were trembling when I pulled out my cellphone. I couldn't dial Jake's number, I couldn't even see the keypad in order to use speed-dial. In frustration, I clenched my fingers around the device too hard; it disintegrated into a shower of plastic and metal. There went my chance of contacting Jacob. I pressed my lips together against more sobs. I needed to get to him, and crying hopelessly wasn't going to help. Alright, so phone was out, so I'd have to run. I swallowed. Unless he somehow knew I needed him.

That hadn't worked the last time I'd really needed him. Though, of course, that had been entirely my own doing.

* * *

_**November 5th**_

The mirror inside my closet door shattered as I slammed the door shut as hard as I could. And then, with a groan, the door fell off its hinges. I let out a groan of frustration just before the inevitable, "Renesmee!"

I turned to grimace apologetically at my grandmother. "Sorry."

Esmee came further into the room, eying me like I was a stranger. "That's seven years bad luck you know."

Yes, but my reflection had been looking at me with utterly accusing eyes for a week now. Telling me what a fool I was, telling me I should _crawl _to La Push and beg Jacob to forgive me. Hence the smashing. I did not need to be made to feel like more of a moron than I did already.

I raked a hand through my curls. "I've got forever; I think I can weather seven," I said shortly.

She frowned, coming further into the room and taking my face between her cool hands. "Honey, this isn't like you. What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I…"

But it wasn't _nothing_, it was _everything. _I hadn't seen Jacob since we woke up in bed together, five days ago now. And out of my entire _life, _those five days had been the only time I hadn't spent time with him. It was ridiculous how cold this house was, how still and silent. Without Jake, it really hit me for the first time that all the other people I loved were _dead_.

I needed him back. And my stupid pride wanted him to come to me and spare me the humiliation. Then my heart would hit back telling me that I deserved _massive _humiliation and more, and that I was the one who'd screwed up. And since Jacob wasn't responding to my mental need for him, something had to be done.

I flopped down on the bed, biting my lower lip as a fresh wave of tears threatened. "I think I fucked up, Esmee."

She raised an eyebrow at the profanity, but didn't comment. "In what way?"

Well, I couldn't tell her that we'd slept together while _drunk_, so I swallowed and tried to frame what had happened without specifics. "There's a guy."

"Yes…"

"And I _really _like him. Ridiculous amounts. To the point where it's taken most of my energy to hide who it is from Dad. I'm pretty sure Jasper has had to have had a migraine for about four months now."

"And this boy doesn't like you back?" she asked, taking my hand gently.

I laughed shortly; 'boy' was the worst word to use to describe Jake, and I was one hundred percent certain he _did _like me back. "No, he does," I said. "But that way I behaved, I don't think he thinks I want him."

She blinked, still looking confused. "What did you do, Nessie?"

"Kissed him. Or he kissed me, or something." Not strictly something I remembered, but I imagined there would definitely have been kissing at some point. "But then I panicked."

"Alright. Why?"

"I don't know!" I cried, burying my face in my hands. "But now I feel like a total _imbecile _for losing my mind completely. And I don't know what to do. I want him back, but…how do I do it? And this guy means a hell of a lot to me, even as-" -the words nearly choked me- "Even as only a friend. I don't want to lose him."

"I see."

"So what do I do?" I asked desperately.

"He likes you — explain what happened, explain that you panicked and try and be clear this time. And apologise."

I nodded. "Least I can do."

She stood, pulling me up too. "I know it must be a difficult prospect, especially when your feelings change after so many years of friendship. But have no fear, darling girl. He'll forgive you."

With that, she kissed my forehead and left. I nodded to no one in particular. _I'll find him. I'll tell him the truth. And I'll plead with him to forgive me. _

* * *

_**Jacob**_

Things had been this awkward with Bella before, but not in the same way. Now she was utterly still. She didn't have to breathe anymore, but she'd kept it up through habit. Same with blinking. Well, now her chest wasn't moving, her eyes hadn't closed once, and she hadn't looked at me. Or spoken. Still, there was something about the set of her shoulders. They were slightly rounded, slightly downturned. She wasn't angry. She was disappointed.

And not with me.

"It was always going to happen," I said eventually, my voice quiet.

"I know. And believe it or not, I saw it coming."

"You did?"

She nodded, sighing. "I may not be the telepath in this family, Jacob, but I know my daughter. In a way only a mother can. Her body language, especially, has been telling. I'm sure she did a good job at keeping her thoughts from Edward, but unconsciously…? Every time you walked into the room she lit up."

I had to ask. "Does she love me?"

Bella took her eyes off the road to deliver me a disparaging look, golden eyes pitying. It clearly wasn't a question worth asking, in her mind. My heart felt like it had swelled by three hundred sizes. I knew Nessie felt _something_, but she'd never told me she loved me. Of course, I hadn't told her yet either… But I would. Tomorrow, assuming Edward hadn't locked her in a tower or something. But if she loved me, then this was it. This was _happily ever after_, staring me right in the face. It was an odd thought. A brilliant one.

"Don't look so happy," Bella snapped, her sharp reprimand cutting through the fuzziness. "Neither you nor Renesmee told us the truth about the beginning of your relationship. And Edward knows that now, and he is _not _going to let it go. So tell me now so that I can at least try and calm him down."

"Halloween, that part was true. But we couldn't tell you the truth because neither of us know, Bella. All I can tell you for sure is that I woke up November first with her in my arms, in my bed. It was pretty clear what had happened."

She nodded. "Okay. Not happy, but okay. And that's it? October 31st, not a couple, November 1st — couple?"

I grimaced. If only it had been that easy. "Sort of. She panicked. And then almost literally ran away."

Bella took her eyes off the road, topaz gaze full of compassion. "Oh Jake."

"Yeah. Y'know what having your heart broken feels like? Times that by a million. I didn't eat for that entire week. Or sleep."

* * *

_**November 5th**_

_**Jacob**_

When Bella agreed to marry Edward, those years ago, I used the wolf as my solace. As an animal, emotions were simpler, easier to brush aside. Instinct took over and made everything else obsolete.

Not so now.

If anything, being in wolf-form made it _worse_, because every instinct was attuned to Renesmee. I kept finding the faintest traces of her scent all over Forks, which then led to tracking her; then being stopped by the knowledge that she didn't want me. I couldn't just show up at the door if it was going to cause her pain or unhappiness. Equally, hunting led to her too — it had been months since I'd hunted without Renesmee by my side. I needed to know who she was hunting with, if she was at all — if she wasn't, then why not? If she was hunting by herself, then she could be in danger, she could be wounded somewhere without help-

But human, everything was dominated by the fact that she didn't want me. She didn't want me. She was- She was _everything_, and I was _nothing_ to her. Knowing that, nothing mattered. Nothing. The sun had decided I was the one part of the world not worth shining on.

I'd now gone back to cliff-diving. At least the sea didn't smell like Renesmee. On some level, I knew that jumping off a hundred-foot cliff into a storm-stricken sea was probably a stupid idea, even for someone almost as indestructible as me. But I didn't care. Smashing my head against jagged rocks sounded a lot less painful than having my heart punched out of my chest by the centre of the universe. It hadn't happened yet, and this was the twenty-third time I'd thrown myself into the ocean.

It was, however, the first time I'd been dragged out of it again. By Renesmee. Who, for some completely unknown reason, thought she had the right to look angry. Once we were waist-deep in the water, she stopped. And then slapped my chest. "What the _hell _do you think you're doing?"

It wasn't polite to stare, I knew that, but she was here in front of me, looking at me with those searing brown eyes, her hair tangled and soaking yet with her irrepressible curls beginning to bounce back up again anyway, her hand was still against my skin — staring was about all I was capable of.

Finally feeling the weight of my gaze, Renesmee began to blush lightly, a rose bloom appearing on her cheeks. Slowly, she took her hand away. I missed the warmth immediately. "Hi, by the way."

I grinned. Grinning was good. Step on the road to speech.

"Um, I- I came to find you." She stopped, took a deep breath, and then threw her arms around me. "Jake, I'm so sorry! I'm such an utter, total, absolute and _complete _idiot — I didn't mean to leave the way I did, I didn't even mean to leave at all-"

Having had enough, I put a crooked finger under her chin and lifted her face. When I kissed her, she let out a deep groan from deep in her chest and pressed her lips harder to mine. It didn't matter that I hadn't eaten in days, because all the nourishment I needed was right here, in this freezing sea.

When I pulled away, we were both breathing hard, and — actually surprisingly — not floating. "Now," I smiled. "Slower."

She nodded. "Right. Sorry, didn't mean to, please forgive me, I was an idiot. Good enough?" she asked.

"Good enough. So what now?"

She let out a chuckle of relief, a brilliant grin on her face. "Well, I'm completely disappointed that we got drunk, since I can't remember any of it."

"Me too." _Oh God me too. _

She tucked a strand of wet hair behind her ear. "So I was thinking…as neither of us are drunk at the moment… Maybe we could do it again. And remember it this time."

"Are you sure?" I asked her.

In answer, she kissed me again. And the cold _really _stopped mattering.

* * *

Bella sighed, nodding. "Well, you seem to have been through drama enough without Edward and I chewing you out. And God knows I would've jumped Edward long before we were married if I could. Renesmee…is just taking the opportunities given to her. As are you."

"So you're on our side?" I asked hopefully.

"I'm not on anyone's 'side', Jacob," she quelled. "I'm simply trying to be rational about this rather than ripping your throat out."

She pulled over as we neared the reservation. "Call Renesmee when you get back. Let her know I haven't tried to kill you on the drive here."

"I will. Thanks, Bella."

Just before I shut the door, she spoke again. "Jake. I meant what I said. Break her heart and I break you in half."

I knew better than to laugh, and nodded, closing the door and pulling out my cell phone. Only to be told by an automated voice that the number I was trying to dial couldn't be reached. _What? _Ness never turned her cell off. Had Edward taken her phone from her as some kind of punishment? Didn't seem like him. Throw her into a dungeon, maybe, but not take away her cell phone. Unless he'd smashed it? Unless _she _had?

I left a message anyway, hanging up- Just in time to have my girlfriend slam into me, crying. "Nessie! What's wrong, what-" I stroked her hair as the rate of volume of her sobs increased, recognising that asking questions was pretty pointless until she'd stopped crying.

It didn't take her long to stop; when she looked up, her face was a mask of anger rather than sadness. "Take it it didn't go well with Edward then?"

She ground her teeth. "No, it didn't. He actually accused me of using you sexually — like I was experimenting on you before moving on. He didn't even _consider_ that you might be the one to break _my _heart — not that you would, I know that," she added quickly. "But I couldn't believe it. I'm his daughter, _I'm_ the one he's supposed to be worried for, and he's worried for you!"

_There's a very good reason for that_, I thought, not for the first time wishing I could tell her the truth. In fact, why couldn't I? It was different before, when I was just her best friend, but we were more than that now. We were lovers. She'd chosen me on her own, without anyone telling her we'd been bonded since the day she was born. What could it matter if she knew she was my imprint?

I looked down at her furious, beautiful face, and nodded inwardly. I'd tell her, soon. Just after she'd calmed down. With my hands on her shoulders, though, she seemed to be calming anyway. "Then he's wrong," I said gently. "I know you'd never do that, you know that too. "Don't let it get to you."

She sighed, nodding. "I know. I just…he yelled at me like he didn't even know me."

"Give him time. It's gotta be a shock, seeing that in your own daughter's thoughts. He overreacted — he'll get over it."

"Can I stay with you until he does?"

"Of course," I told her. "Come on."

"Actually, can we go for a walk first?" I asked. "I really need to calm down."

There was another way to calm her down, and I could tell from the small smile playing at the corners of her mouth she was thinking of the same thing. "Can't do that," I grinned. "Dad's in, and you know what you're like."

She grinned. "I refuse to believe I'm as loud as you say."

"One day I'm going to have to record you."

"Now there's an idea."

I took her hand. "Come on."

We walked out of La Push into the forest, neither of us really that tired, and we both knew that we'd basically come through the first big challenge of our relationship. "It's no good, you know," she murmured after a while.

"What isn't?"

"I'm never going to be able to let you go."

I grinned, opened my mouth to reply — then stopped when the wind abruptly changed direction.

* * *

_**Renesmee**_

Suddenly he stiffened, then immediately started shaking. His lip curled in a soft and deadly snarl. "What is it?" I asked. "Ja-" Suddenly I knew exactly. There were footsteps all around us, not even bothering with stealth. There were growls and snarls. There were no heartbeats. "How many?" I whispered.

"Least a dozen," he said tautly.

I saw shadowy forms detach themselves from the trees. Red eyes glared at me. "Make that fifteen," I whispered. There was an undulation of air, and a deeper, far more comforting growl. I reached out; touched soft fur. "Jake, I love you."

There was a ripple of cruel laughter from through the vampires that surrounded us. The first move came from the two of us.

* * *

**A/N: Review please!**


End file.
